March 1999
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Adventures in Maturity- Forgiveness

by Gordon Dymowski

One of the things that's been on my mind is the whole topic of forgiveness. As I'm writing this, the President's just been acquitted in his impeachment trial. And, of course, all the conservatives are crying out, saying, "It's about character, stupid, yada yada yada..."

Now, forgiveness is a tricky thing, because when somebody hurts you, the normal thing is to hurt that person back. As I've said in an earlier edition, revenge is a dish best served by God, and so letting karma have its way can be, at best, a daunting proposition. But yet, people talk about forgiveness as if it's as easy to do as getting your hair cut. Hey, if somebody screws you over so badly you feel you can't forgive 'em, how are they supposed to forgive you? Therein lies the dilemma.

Personally, I've always thought of forgiveness as a process, like healing, or metamorphosis, or the careers of the New Kids on the Block. You don't start off on some higher personal plane; you somehow get there, and gradually, you let go of all that resentment. Some wise man - I think it was Normal Fell - said, "When you resent someone, it's like drinking poison and expecting that person to die." At the very most, I hope I can be the metaphysical paragon of personal fulfillment that Norman Fell claims to be. (Heck, I'd choose Tony Robbins, but that man's teeth scare me).

And I have to admit, there's an ulterior motive to this column: I'm seeking forgiveness and healing with certain other people. If you feel you're one of those people, feel free to e-mail me and say, "Hey, you wronged me, you jerk!", or words to that effect. I'll be sure to e-mail you back, honest.

Thank you, and back to the Shrubbery. Break out the Pepsi and the Little Debbie Snack Cakes and let's par-tay!

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