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Finally out in the city, I notice that every French car is about the
size of a can of tuna. They’ve even got this one number called the Smart
Car that you can parallel park horizontally. It’s basically a front seat
with an engine. It makes the Mini look like a Range Rover.
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And while there are regulated traffic signals in Paris,
none of the drivers pay them any heed. Nor do they care about designated
lanes or speed limits. Driving in Paris is like a blood sport. And when
you’re jumping out of the way of these micro machine cars, you’ll
invariably step in a pile of dog shit because the French take their dogs
everywhere, yet feel no need to clean up for them. So basically walking
in Paris is fairly nervewracking because you have to keep one eye
trained on the sidewalk watching out for errant shit and one eye on the
cars on the road hoping they don’t hop the curb and plow into you. But
the curb seems to be the favourite parking spot for Parisians. I can’t
count how many cars I saw parallel parked with two wheels in the street
and two on the sidewalk. And in some instances, when there was no
parking to be had on the sidewalk, they would actually park IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE STREET.
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But I have so much more to tell you.
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Molly only lives a few blocks from the Arc De Triomphe, so once I
dropped off my baggage and freshened up (i.e. lathered myself in
moisturizer to counteract the desert-like air of the plane), we went to
do my first touristy thing in Paris.
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From there, we headed down the Champs Elysees. Two Italian teenagers
asked us if they could have their pictures taken with us to "capture zee
beauty of France." So now, some Italian kid has a picture of me after a
11 hour flight. I’m sure that’s definitely one for the scrapbook.
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Saturday I slept off a bit of my jetlag and then we went to see Notre
Dame. Ironically, since they knew I was coming to see it,
they put up some scaffolding so I couldn’t get a picture of the really
cool arch over the door. Stupid paté-eating bastards.
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This is the Hotel De Ville. You know that famous picture
by Robert Doisneau ‘The Kiss at the Hotel De Ville’?
Well, this is the place where those two crazy kids were playing tonsil
hockey. Ironically, it’s not a hotel at all. It’s
actually City Hall. Go figure.
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