April 1999
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Adventures About Maturity

by Daniel Strohlski

Something happened to me just recently that will forever have a profound impact on my life, something which I have learned from by analyzing this event and sharing with you, the loyal Shrubbery readers, something which has made me realize just how insignificant we blah blah humans are in this great, magnanimous world we live in, something which has shown me a way to mature.

I kissed the Robot From the Future.

And this wasn't some paltry, itty-bitty kiss. No, this was a long deep and passionate kiss - one of those kisses that make you realize there is a higher power out there, orchestrating things, showing where fates and destinies lie, blah blah, spreading happiness and warmth throughout all of humanity.

Then the Robot From the Future slapped me around and called me his bitch. I couldn't take that, so I left him. Yes, I left him, I had the heart and blah blah soul to do it, rather than sitting on my butt in my home in St. Louis now drinking coffee.

So what have I learned from this experience? Well, I've learned it's not that important that we invest ourselves in our passions, 'cause those passions will then turn around and nip us in the rear, making us want to get revenge and all that crap. Blah blah blah. But revenge isn't how we should blah blah do things, is it?

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