The Shrubbery's Official Almost Interview With They Might Be Giants

They Might Be Giants played a concert at my school recently, and I was hoping I could interview them for the school paper and The Shrubbery.

I couldn't.

So instead, here's the timeline of how I did not get to interview They Might Be Giants.

March 18, 1998	Jason finds out from his friend, Brendan, that They Might Be Giants (TMBG) will be headlining SpringFest, Ohio Welseyan University's annual spring concert.
March 19	Jason calls 'dibs' on interviewing TMBG for The Transcript, OWU's student paper. Is assigned preview article of concert.
March 22	Article is completed and turned in. Jason reasserts 'dibs.'
March 25	Article printed, Jason asks Pete, Editor-in Chief, about the interview. Pete says its possible.
April 19	Jason asks Pete about status of interview. Pete promises to "work his magic" in order to get interview.
April 20	Jason asks Pete for update, still no word from the powers-that-be.
April 23	Still no word.
April 26	Day of concert. With still no word, Jason arrives at the door at 1:30 p.m., expecting not to interview TMBG. 2:00 p.m. Pete tells Jason its possible. It's all up to the tour manager. 4:00 p.m. Pete notifies Jason that the tour manager is being a dickhead, so it doesn't look good. 5:00 p.m. Tour manager says no, basically sh!tting on Jason's head. 6:30 p.m. TMBG plays. 6:45 p.m. Jason makes a paper airplane out of a Shrubbery business card and launches it toward the stage. It lands on John Linnel's synthesizer table, but he ignores it. 8:00 p.m. Jason goes back to his room, with a new t-shirt but no interview. Watches 200th episode of The Simpsons.

As you can see, I've been through quite a lot. A virtual roller coaster of emotions.

So, now what? I'll tell you what. I, and The Shrubbery, are issuing a challenge to They Might Be Giants. We hereby challenge you to grant us an interview! Are you man enough to face the wrath and in-depth questions of the one-and-only Jason Morrison? Will you dare upset our millions of monthly readers? If you, dear reader, have any way of letting TMBG about the challenge, go forth and do my bidding! Let them know that The Shrubbery doesn't take this kind of snubbing sitting down!