May 1999
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This page copyright 1999 The Shrubbery
Webmaster: Jason Morrison

The Shrubbery- Your Official E-Zine for the Millennium!

The Agency For Declaring All Things Official For the Millennium has declared your very own Shrubbery as its official e-zine.

Why would the Agency pick such a publication, even though it has been in existence a little over a year, and didn't even have its own domain name until recently?

Simple. We rock!

Seriously, tho. Just think of what The Shrubbery has to offer, not just for the previous 1000 years, but for the future and beyond:

-We bring together writers from all over the globe (including Canada) to work peacefully on this collaborative effort.

-The Shrub shows what a bunch of hard-working (or hardly-working) young adults can do when they put their minds to it.

-Each month we publish only the highest-quality humor and serious essays together in a coherent, easy-to-navigate forum.

-Bathroom humor is kept to a minimum. Only the freshest humor is allowed.

-We were the first to think of being the Official E-Zine of the Millennium, so we get the rights.

Everyone loves The Shrubbery. We want to get hate mail, but we just can't generate it! Sometimes, we even have to send ourselves hate mail to remind us of our own human-ness. We're just a big, happy, global family that keeps growing.

And that is why we're the Official E-Zine of the Millennium.

Shrubbery Editor Jason Morrison Named Person of the Millennium.

In keeping with the spirit of the millennium, we have decided to name Editor-in-Chief Jason Morrison as "Person of the Millennium."

Who decided these things? Well, we decided that it was up to God to decide what's "official" and what's not. We sent God an email asking Him to respond if He had any problems with Jason being "The Person" and He never responded, so we went for it.

Jason Morrison is Everyman. Everywoman, too (note: the hair). He's not too tall, like Conan O'Brien (who was a close second) or too short like Mickey Rooney (a close 72nd). He's not too smart (was class valedictorian, but in a public school), but is not too dumb (Todd McCafferty came in second).

Jason is by far not a rich man...but yet is rich in "spirit" (he's got a lot of friends). He doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, and as far as we'd like his mother to know, has not engaged in any pre-marital sex.

Jason loves movies, music, writing, reading, computers, drawing, people, puppies, flowers, mid-sized cars, and karate. He enjoys long walks on the beach, as well as adventureous endeavors such as high-ropes courses.

Jason is sensitive to the plights of those different than him. He actually let not one but TWO women join the staff of his e-zine. He has friends of many races, such as Asian, African-American, Latino, and Navin. He lets his hair grow long to proove that he is not afraid to explore his feminine side. Once, he even painted his pinky fingernail.

This is why Jason Morrison, Editor-in-Chief of The Shrubbery is the Official Person of the Millennium. Jason, we salute you!

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