April 1999
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Robot Power is World Power Bionic De(con)strucion!
by Ryan Glowczewski

Why do I do these things...

In order to hear myself think, I have become more and more adept at yelling. I scream and scream bloody murder until all others are drowned out.

By whispering into the ears of fellow society constructs, I can memorize how infite life truly is.

This column is swill and passes not for humor.

Perhaps by writing Todd's column, I have become more decidedly like him.

So just what do i have to think about this months school shooting.

I am a prophet.

I do not say this to be funny.

The media has whored itself more in the recent debacle than any other I've seen. Scapegoating is but a small crime of there's. These children who took on the cause of anti-defammation in so violent a way were Nazi's. If Nazi's at my high school weren't outcasts, I'd be very afraid.

But what is even worse than the sanctimonius searching for blame the media has placed on artists, the media (IRONY!), parents, society... is there incessant need not to let these people heal.

I do not share these people's pain. So please don't make there funerals public. not for my sake, I can change the channel. For the victims sake.

What sickens me the most are the people who might send a prayer out, or some money for a relief fund, or something, and think they've done their good deed. This was, while sad, just an incident. There is a lot of shit in the world that is ongoing and constant. Trying to alleviate it is a lot more important.

I am now crying because this column wasn't funny at all. F*ck me.

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