This page copyright 1999 The Shrubbery
Canadian Content Part XI: Cuisine
During the 3 days Canadians modestly call "the Summer-like period," the citizens crawl out of their igloos, give thanks to Gordon, our traditional god of the Vernal Equinox, play Catch the Trout with our huskies, and gorge themselves sick on a variety of local cuisine.
Here then, is a list of edible delights we enjoy. For recipes please email the Canadian Centre for Preservation and Promotion of Eating at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Le Petit Dejeuner de Cape Breton: A breakfast explosion of fried russet potatoes, corn niblets, baked beans, scrambled eggs, and fried bologna. Serve with beer.
Le Petit Dejeuner de Cap Pele: From the New Brunswick fishing village
named after the Brazillian soccer star. Similar to the Cape Breton
variety of this breakfast, substituting lobster for bologna and covering
all of the above in a rich turkey gravy.
Bearclaws: This has many varieties across the nation but the most common way to cook them is to use claws taken from brown bears poached out of season. Often they are stir-fried in a fish sauce to soften them, served with snow peas and a rice pilaf. Serve with beer. There is also a reference in Canadian historian Pierre Berton's book "Big Joe Mufferaw" to a pastry treat called a "bearclaw" being served at Ottawa Senators' games but this has not been confirmed as they didn't make the semi-finals.
The Randy Bachman: A 7 pound perogie (which in itself, is cheese and potatoes served in a deep-fried doughy shell) which is stuffed with Kam (Canada's Spam substitute) and baked at 450 degrees for 20 minutes. Serve with Fin du Monde (750 ml bottle).
The University Student's Breakfast: Take last night's leftover Kraft Dinner (or Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, as it's known stateside), heat in microwave. Serve with ketchup. Kraft Dinner may be substituted with President's Choice Memories of The Pas Macaroni and Cheese-like Powder (available at most Superstores). Hint: not all igloos may be equipped with microwaves. Check with your elected officials before preparing this dinner.
Editor's Note: John Hansen is not a quallified chef, but is a quallified Canadian. He is from Cape Breton NB and likes beer.