July 1998
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Damn! I'm handsome!I Don't Shut Up
by R. Glowczewski

Hi, I'm Ryan, your handy dandy Walmart 1 Hour Photo Lab technician. I'm here to help you with all your photo needs. Whatever. In all reality, I'm here to stand around and get paid to look at other people's pictures. No, I'm not going to say what you're thinking. Get out of the past.

Anyway, I just got this job, and it seems like a keeper. A: it's easy as hell, and B: I get to peer into the memories and experiences of others. It's like being paid by some people to spy on them.

But i'm not all about taking. Nooooooooo, I feel like giving something back to the community. So even though I've only worked in the lab for two day's, here are some Do's and Don'tstm that will help you in getting the most of your film.

The first thing to realize is that there is a point to one hour developing. It's called, "I get my pictures in an hour." Simple, right? If you don't need your pictures right away, don't use one hour developing. We charge more and the fact that we will fill out the envelope for you doesn't seem to be worth that extra cost...yet still some dimwits use 1 hour photo and don't pick up their pictures for three days. Now I don't mind developing naked pictures of your mom, but if it's just boring old pictures of your newborn puking, I don't want this extra work.

The next thing to remember is that while I am being paid to be nice to you, I'm only being paid so much...

Okay, Okay, this isn't funny. I'm here to entertain and job humor sucks. Uhmmm... Okay, I've got something. It's job humor, but it's better than that drivel.

The other day (really months ago) I accidently spit on a customer at Wendy's when they were making some stupid complaint about how the catsup wouldn't dispense. He didn't even notice and he had this little green phlegm-snot on his shirt.

Blacker always yearned for glory, but he had difficulty distinguishing himself from other adventurers around him. Eventually he adopted his black-and-red costume, which served to single him out in a crowd, sometime earned him credit for exploits which weren't even his, and attracted a following of copy dressers.

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