August 1998
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An Apology From the Editor

by Jason Morrison

On behalf of The Shrubbery, I would like to publicly apologize and retract an article in last month's (July) Shrubbery, ADVENTURES IN MATURITY by Gordon Dymowski. The article, chronicling Mr. Dymowski's recent dumpage by his fiance, quickly turned from an examination of karma and its implications on moral conduct and degenerated into a personal ad for Mr. Dymowski.

In the interests of journalistic integrity, I must say The Shrubbery is not a forum for such uses. I would never, for instance, mention in an article that I am in fact single right now. Although we continue to encourage very personal writing from our contributors, there are clear forums where I might say I'm seeking a single female near the age of 19-20.

For example, personal health is a subject that cannot be powerfully addressed without bringing a little something of yourself into the article. However, it would be wrong of me to mention I would like to date a non-smoker who does not drink often and enjoys hiking and bicycling. Nor would it be proper for me to say, in a cloud of promoting literacy, that I would love to meet someone who loves reading, discussion, and art.

There may even be a time when I would be forced to include details about myself, such as my 5'6", 125# build, to opine on the effects of de facto discrimination against persons of lesser stature (there has never been a short President, for example). But to say that I would be interested in meeting a girl near my own proportions, with a slim or athletic build, is completely out of the questions.

Furthermore, if I said breast size was not as important to me as facial feature, and that physicality in general was not as important to me as intelligence, would be wrong. Any discussion of my romantic interests, such as cuddling, long walks and talking, and my strict respect for women and the sanctity of their judgements (no means no and all that), should be left out as well.

But I digress.

I'm from the Cleveland-Akron area but am attending a small school near Columbus, Ohio. I'm looking for someone to have fun, maybe more with a young SF. My turn-offs include smoking, close-mindedness and country music.

Jason Morrison

Jason Morrison

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