The Shrubbery
August 1999
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Shrubbery Games: The Rave Name Game

By Jason Morrison

Many of you youngsters have been getting really into this whole rave scene, so I thought this would be of some interest. Like our other Shrubbery games, The Rave Name Game has rules and a method of scoring, so pay attention and you won't get hurt.

First off, this is NOT like the similarly named "The Name Game." The name game goes something like this:

"Jason jason bo-bason banana fana fo-fason,
me mi mo-mason, Jason!"

Except imagine that I sound really excited to say my real name that last time.

That game sucks. It's not even a game.

Secondly, for the parents in the audience, our does this game involve taking drugs. In fact, one of the rules is you must be completely sober when you play this game, otherwise it's cheating.

Now, for those of you who don't know, ravers often make up fun little names for themselves for partying. Reasons for this I've heard include the sensible "No one's going to remember the 3rd Jim they meet, but they will remember Rainbow" and the deluded "We're inventing a new culture." Whatever the reason, I personally know a Butterfly, a Sprite, and I've heard about Skittles, Apple Juice, and god knows how many others.

The Rules:

Go to a rave, but don't take anything. And no quibbling about how this is better for you than alcohol and that does less damage to your kidneys than caffeine, you know what I mean, you must be the only clear-headed person in the place for this to work.

Now, meet people. It should be easy, this is a rave, and people shall be chemically friendly toward you. Go with a friend who is well-known in the local rave scene and it will be even easier.

Now each time you meet a person, make up a new cute rave-name for them to call you. This is harder than it sounds;

"Hi, I'm Juice Box."

"Hello, my name's Pillows"

"I'm Kirby Dreamland, nice to meet you."

"You can call me Child-Proof Container."

"Hi, I'm Crayon-Sandwich."

"I'm Bucket."

"Car Battery"

"Oh, yeah, I'm Lanky Hamster."

"My name's Driveway Gravel."

"This is Ladybug, and I'm Lice."

"Chiggers"

"I am Abraham Lincoln."

"Stone Cold Kirby Power." --Oops!

Scoring:

You get one point for every name you make up without duplicating any of the words in it. Duplication costs you one point, so you should have a friend with you to play along and help keep score.

Part of the goal, of course, is not to let everyone else in on the game. So you cannot approach a group of people and tell them all different names right then and there-that would just be stupid.

Bonus points can be awarded for especially ironic names, but only if they don't offend. Anyone can be mean, but you get points if you're mean and they don't even get it.

Warning:

As of today I have not personally tried this game, so it may very well be more dangerous than I suspect. Former Shrub staffer Mark Egle did it once, and it was a delightful anecdote.

Also, you probably shouldn't bother playing if you're already into the rave scene or will be soon. You could end up alienating yourself for nearly hours.

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