September 1998
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The Beastie Boys -
Hello Nasty

by Jessica Brandt

These boys have come a long way since "Fight For Your Right," don't you think? MCA is freeing Tibet, but the Boys are still wearing polyester basketball jerseys. I recently ripped out my copy of Ill Communication and compared to this new release. It's almost like they have been collecting sounds for the last 10-odd years and finally have them organized into a stunning musical production. Hello Nasty

If you like the Beasties, you will love this alubm. It's incredible. It's HUGE. There's so much going on in these TWENTY FOUR tracks that you'll never hear the same album for a second time. If you don't like the Beasties, well then you're missing out on a lot. They've "got the beats to move you," while still rocking out, as well as educating you RATM-ly. If you think your friends are going to make fun of you for listening to this hip-hop, this "black music," well then you need new friends. Better yet, you need a new you as well.

Anyway, instead of boring you with another review from someone who doesn't like to do reviews anyway, I've decided to do something else. The Beastie Boys are kings of language, as well as Ministers of Pop Culture (as opposed to our Uncle Summy, who is Minister of regular Culture).

So, for your reading pleasure, here are the Top 11 Neatest© Lines From Hello Nasty:

11. Ooh Dear Alex and Marylin, they're Lovey and Thurston Howellin.

10. I write the songs that make the whole world suck.

9. I like my sugar with coffee and cream.

8. Fresh like a box of Krispy Kremes. Kenny Rogers' Gambler is my gamblin' theme.

7. So I got a little something for your Pay Per View; Like Don King I got a crazy hair-do.

6. I'm flowing prose to cons and cons to pros; Like Toucan Sam when I follow my nose.

5. If you got bad breath then maybe try Scope. And if you wash your ass then you best use soap.

4. Dogs love me cuz I'm crazy sniffable.

3. Sometimes I Like to brag, sometimes I'm soft spoken. When I'm in Holland I eat the pannenkoeken.

2. I don't mean to brag, I don't mean to boast, but I'm intercontinental when I eat french toast.

1. If you try to knock me you'l get mocked; I'll stir-fry you in my wok.

[A+] [96%]

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