The Shrubbery
September 1999
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Website Madness

With Fact Boy

Now in Fact-o-Vision

That's right, Fact-o-Vision(TR). In order to access Fact Boy's facts, you must have a mouse. Not a pet mouse, those are icky. You need a computer mouse, which I assume you already have. To see a fact, simply move your mouse pointer over any asterisk you see (*) and you will instantly become one IQ point smarter by reading the fact that appears at the bottom of your browser window. Don't actually CLICK on the astersik, or your computer just might explode.


Okay, first off, I consider myself as somebody who looks on the web for things ** What I do is go on the web and look for sites and whatnot. I know this isn't much of a site, but it is sure is a good whatnot *. I don't consider myself a leading authority on Shakespeare, but I do know a lot (*. Oh yeah, I also know a lot about Dr. Seuss. FactBoy here, once again, after being nagged to get my submission in *, attacking The Shrubbery with Dr. Seuss Does Shakespeare. *

If I had to write "If FactBoy did Sheakespeare," the I would use a cast like this:

FACTBOY, king of the world
FACTGIRL, fiancee of the mighty king*
EL FACTO, king of Spain
FACT, Factboy's and Factgirl's infamous goldfish
GHOST, Factboy's old farts coming back to haunt

But that is IF I HAD TO, and I don't*. Now, if Dr. Seuss had to, his cast would be larger* *, silly-billier, and rhyme more**. OH WAIT!!! I found it, and I am sure many of you have already found it too**. What if Dr. Seuss did Shakespeare?* Well, you are in for a real treat if you a) like Shakespeare, and b) like Dr. Seuss *. Now, it would be hard to get through the whole story if you didn't like either one of them. Personally, I found** it very funny. There was a story line, a list of characters, emotion, life, death, infinity -> $$$. One of my favorite lines is Act 5, scene I, line 18-19,* -And on a poodle eating noodles - let us know, A muddle puddle tweetle poodle beetle noodle Bottle paddle battle. And - try to say that 5 times fast.*

Some things I found interesting about this is that it has characteristics of Shakespearean plays* *. For example, it has 5 Acts and soliloquy, et al. On the other hand, it isn't perfect. I mean, Shakespeare always gave the lead role of the play a break before the final scene. But alas, that * * isn't true here.

WHATEVER! I guess that doesn't matter. What does matter is that it is funny*.

It may not be a game, it may not have farting, it may not be loaded with useless facts, but it is funny. It is ever* * funnier when reading it out loud. Maybe I think it is too funny, but I guess it takes me back to my childhood*, and made me think of how stupid I really am, er ... was.

Now, I am sure that some of you have already read this in some shape or form, but it is really an accomplishment * to be able to do something like this. The unknown author really has a talent, and I hope that he/she uses it someday for truth, justice, in the American way*. I salute you, Unknown!

Factually Yours,
FactBoy

ps. Okay, here are the Facts, which you can only expect from FactBoy. Almost all the stories about people preparing for the end of the world as it approached 1000 A.D. are wrong. As 2000 A.D. nears, they are dragging out the same stupid rumors. Consider: Most reports of panic in 999 A.D. were written in the 1600s. There is no evidence or records from that time indicating any of the large-scale upheaval that the seventeenth - and eighteenth - century writers reported.

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