The Shrubbery
October
1999
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Bye everybody. LieGirl here filling in for that stupid FactBoy *. He sure doesn't know anything, and he is ugly too, very ugly. He had his submission in a while ago, but nobody likes him, so they asked me to redo it for him. Hmm, let me see . . . Oh, I know. I stumbled * across this really bad website that I am sure none of you will like. It is called The Shrubbery.

Boy does this website stink * royally, and it would make sense with FactBoy in it. He gets all his facts wrong. He doesn't know anything. He shouldn't speak unless spoken to. And what's up with this editor chick? I think her name is Jason Morrison. Now, I don't have * anything against Jason, except that she's is always wrong. And that's all I have to say about that.

This brings me to another point, the * managing editor, Jessica. Does he really know how to speak English? I mean, seriously. Rumor has it that he goes to Clown College. I know one thing though, he sure makes a great clown. But who am I to say anything, I am just * LieGirl. By the way, I never lie, I just sleep a lot.

Who is Angry Dan, and why is she sooooo angry? Don't get me wrong, if I had to put up with Jason everyday, then I would be angry too. But that is no excuse. If she is soooo * angry, she should go to the psychological clinic. Maybe * * * she is suffering from depression and wants to slit her wrists. * I don't know, that is up for her to decide.

Now this Robot from the Future. Fear me? What does that mean? I don't fear anything from the future, mainly because one cannot * travel backwards in time. Sorry to break your cover robot, but if you really ruled, then you would rule now, and you certainly don't rule. Where is your time machine, huh? I think that silly-billy named Todd invented you out of a station * wagon. If Todd knew what she was doing, then she would have taken out your voice box and cut off your fingers. Only the facts from LieGirl, fear me.

Uhhh, hello! Canadian, we are not in Canada. We * are in Corsica *, the small French Island in the Red Sea, not in Canada. Wait a second, I am totally getting off the subject of this bad e-zine.

Instead of insulting the writers of the crummy e-zine, I should actually review it. I mean after all, I have no rice with the writers, * * it isn't my fault they can't write. Hell, I don't even know most of them. But that is neither here nor there . . . wait a second, I guess it is here.

What I like most is the letters to the editors, mainly from Doug Leflhoctz. His arguments are always valid and makes some good remarks. * Maybe if the Shrubbery listened to him instead of their silly writers, then they would get more that 3 hits a month.

The best * * part about this e-zine is the mail option. You can actually get your own email address here, but why? I know why, because it is one of the fastest email systems available, and it never breaks down, * just like the Therac - 25.

But, who am I to say anything? I mean, (* * I only write for The New York Times, and everybody gets to write for them. Seriously.

Please email all responses to Factboy@theshrubbery.com, and he will then email them to me.

Seriously,
LieGirl

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