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With Fact Boy

Now in Fact-o-Vision

That's right, Fact-o-Vision(TR). In order to access Fact Boy's facts, you must have a mouse. Not a pet mouse, those are icky. You need a computer mouse, which I assume you already have. To see a fact, simply move your mouse pointer over any asterisk you see (*) and you will instantly become one IQ point smarter by reading the fact that appears at the bottom of your browser window. Don't actually CLICK on the astersik, or your computer just might explode.

Boy oh boy, did LieGirl really do a number on me, and it was number one *. I should have listened to grandma when she said, "He who pees uphill gets wet feet!" * That is a lesson I will never forget. It was strange to be on Counter-Earth. People actually listened to me and thought I was interesting. I couldn't believe just how * much everybody watched The WB over there. I felt really strange, * as a matter of fact, I was a minority because I would use a fork to eat my applesauce. Well, that is the case here too. Why do people think that is so strange? I dunno, maybe*** because they're STUPID!!! Probably. Oh well, that is life, and I am living, so I guess I just have to live with life.

Being the infamous FactBoy, I really have to keep on my toes and *** make sure I get everything correct. It isn't easy being a super-genius. Think about it, Wile E. Cyote had a hard time, and he couldn't even catch the Road Runner. So, to make sure I remain smart, first, I get 11 hours of sleep at night *, then I go to here: Fun Links

Ok, I really don't go here, but this has two sites on it that I like *.

What does this mean to you? Well, nothing if you don't go there. If you do go there, you will find two sites.** Actually more, but you don't need to worry about them. Pay particular attention Trivial Pursuit and the Jive Translator *. I like them both, but to keep on my toes, I play Trivial Pursuit. You know how to play Trivial Pursuit, I know you do. You don't roll a die or anything, you just **** answer questions to get a piece of the pie. I like pie, I make a lot of pie because I am a baker, actually. I am a Master Baker at the HomeTown Buffet in Macedonia *. It is something to do on Saturday night when you are all sitting at home because you have no friends *.

That is enough * fun to last a year though**. I haven't really experimented with it too much, so there might actually be something else to the game that I don't know about. * I know that I know a lot, but not everything. That is why I can only play the game for a minute because * I know all the answers and it gets boring to me.

On the same hand, there exists the Jive Translator. If you haven't gone to a jive translator, you don't know * what you are missing *. You can put in a message and it will translate it to jive. Now, beware, there is a warning for all of you sillies out there that might take offense to it. Just remember that it is in * good fun. And for all of you with virgin ears or eyes, you shouldn't go there because there is vulgarity. That is why I like it. I like vulgarity.

I wonder if they used the ** jive translator in the movie Airplane!.

Anyhow, I guess this is *** the end of FactBoy. Not for ever though. I will be back within a year, maybe even a couple of months, but I promise you, it will be no later than December. Oh, I guess that is next month. Silly me **

Factually Yours,

"Excuse me, but I speak jive." (This month's column in jive)

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