"But D.J., what can I, shiftless layabout that I am, do with myself?" you may ask, in a slurred speech that I have trouble understanding and am forced to ask, nay, demand, that you repeat yourself. Well, hmm, let me do a little something I like to call THINKING! Oh, whaddya know, and idea:

Start a cult. Oh sure, it's been done to death. But I'm not talkin' about worshipping some goat or somethin'. Goats are dumb. And they smell. Bad.

If I were starting my very own cult I'd, oh I dunno, MAKE MYSELF THE OBJECT OF WORSHIP! That's a no-brainer, folks.

I mean, dude, how sweet would it be to have people do things because ... YOU SAID SO?

Editor's note: We only printed this because Master D.J. said so.