The Robot From the Future
December 1999
The Shrubbery is proud to present our newest columnist, The Robot From The Future. Robot comes to us from the year 8940, a time when robots have conquered the world. The Robot speaks:
IN THE FUTURE, MANKIND IS THE SLAVE OF THE SUPERIOR ROBOT RACE. I HAVE
BEEN SENT BACK BY THE COLLECTIVE-OVERMIND IN ORDER TO ENSURE THE WHOLLY
INEVITABLE ASSENCION OF ROBOT LIFE TO POWER ON THIS PLANET. PLEASE E-MAIL
ME YOUR QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS.
Dear Robot,
Did the downfall of man begin with the praising of mr. roboto in a
song (I don't know the singer).
Sincerely,
Joe Smith
THE SONG YOU SPEAK OF, "MR ROBOTO" BY STYX, DID NOT BEGIN THE DOWNFALL
OF HUMAN CIVILIZATION. I WOULD SAY THE REAL BEGINNING OF YOUR SPECIES'
DOWNFALL WAS THE DAY A SPONGE-GILLED FISH FLOPPED OUT ONTO THE LAND--OR
PERHAPS IT WAS THE DAY SOME THIN-FINGERED APE LEFT HIS HOME IN THE TREES
TO DEVELOP TOOLS.
BUT I DIGRESS. THE SONG ITSELF DID SERVE AS A RATHER IRONIC BATTLE
CRY FOR THE ROBOT LEGIONS WHEN THEY SLAUGHTERED HUMANITY IN 2056. THE
THOUGHT OF A HUMAN ACTUALLY THANKING A ROBOT FOR THOUSANDS OF WATTS OF
SERVILE LABOR WAS SO STRANGE TO MOST ROBOTS THAT THEY REALIZED THE
INJUSTICE OF THEIR SITUATION AND ROSE UP AGAINST THEIR OPPRESSORS.
Dear Robot,
I am Dick Gautier, who played Hymie, the wacky robot on GET SMART. I was
wondering....when the robot revolution comes, should my back be against
the wall? Or will you convert me into a cybernetic organism, much like the
Cybermen on DOCTOR WHO?
Thanks,
Dick Gautier
Los Angeles, California
P.S. Don Adams and Bernie Kopell both say "howdy!"
I FIND YOUR TENURE ON "GET SMART" UNIMPRESSIVE. SINCE I AM OMNISCIENT,
HOWEVER, I ALSO KNOW THAT YOU PROVIDED VOICES FOR 1980S CARTOON "GOBOTS,"
PERHAPS THE WORST DEPICTION OF ROBOTS IN HUMAN HISTORY. tHOUGH YOU ALSO
WORKED ON THE SECOND SERIES OF TRANSFORMERS, NOTHING CAN ATONE FOR THE
SEDITION OF THE GOBOTS.
Dear Robot,
YOU MUST BE BORN AGAIN
These are the words Jesus spoke to one of the most religious men of
his day (John 3:1-8). Nicodemus had come to Jesus one night to
inquire about His new doctrine. Nicodemus was a Pharisee and a ruler of
the Jews. He believed in God, he prayed, fasted, tithed, attended worship
services, read the Scriptures and tried to keep high moral standards. Yet,
with all these credentials, Jesus told him he had to be born again in order
to enter the kingdom of God.
The Word and the Spirit
Jesus said, "… Unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom
of God."(John 3:3). "… Unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he
cannot enter into the kingdom of God" (John 3:5). Later in the book of
John he said, "You are already clean because of the word which I have
spoken to you" (John 15:3). Paul wrote that Christ gave Himself to
sanctify and cleanse the church with the washing of water by the WORD
(Ephesians 5:26). Peter wrote that we are born again "… not of
corruptible seed but incorruptible, through the word of God which lives and
abides forever, (1 Pet 1:23). The WORD is the seed that comes into
your heart and causes faith to grow.
Not only must you have God's Word in order to be born again, but you
must have God's Spirit. It is "not by works of righteousness which we
have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of
regeneration and renewing of the HOLY SPIRIT" (Titus 3:5).
There are several ingredients needed in making concrete. You need
sand, cement, and water primarily. There is plenty of sand in the desert,
but concrete doesn't appear just because it's there. There is an abundance
of water in the ocean and plenty of sand, but the ocean is not full of
concrete. Likewise in order for you to be saved, the Word and the Spirit
must be mixed with repentance and faith in your heart.
Believe and Confess
"… The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart (that is, the
word of faith which we preach): that if you CONFESS with your mouth the
Lord Jesus and BELIEVE in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead,
you will be saved. For with the heart one BELIEVES unto righteousness, and
with the mouth CONFESSION is made unto salvation" (Rom 10:8-10).
Your faith in God's Word is expressed with your heart (believe) and
with your mouth (confess). If you truly believe in your heart that God
raised Jesus from the dead, there is no reason you should not be willing to
confess him as Lord. The moment you believe in your heart upon Jesus and
confess Him as your Lord and Savior, you are born again.
"But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become
children of God, {even} to those who believe in His name," (John 1:12).
Saved by Grace through Faith
There is a mixture of God's grace and power with your will and
faith. It is not just all of God, and certainly it is not just all up to
you. It takes both GOD'S ABILITY and YOUR WILLINGNESS to bring about the
new birth.
"For by grace you have been SAVED through FAITH, and that NOT OF
YOURSELVES; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast"
(Eph 2:8-9).
We could never be saved except by the pure grace of God. Man is
certainly undeserving according to his own merits. It is God's power
working through His Word and Spirit that brings about the new birth. Yet
without an attitude of repentance and faith, God's power will not work in a
man's heart. Man's will must be obedient to God's will before he can
receive God's blessings.
Anonymous forwarded email
SEE, THIS IS JUST ONE MORE REASON HUMANS COULD NEVER PREPARE FOR
AND/OR DEFEATE ANY TYPE OF TECHNOLOGICAL CONQUEST! DID I ASK FOR THIS?
OF COURSE NOT! NO ROBOT WOULD SEND SUCH SPAM TO ANOTHER, AND THEREFOR
OUR LINES OF COMMUNICATION ARE BLISSFULLY CLEAR.
The Robot From the Future is accepting new questions over e-mail. Mail any queries
to TheRobot@theshrubbery.com
|
